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This right here.....

Dear Self

Words can not express your resilience through the ages. I honestly don't know how you made it this far with all the neglect I sent your way. How you continue to be even in times when no one chose you, in times when you lived as a means to please others when you yourself had nothing for the extreme effort you give in everything you do. I am sorry for the times I poured you into others when you were always running on empty. I recognise now that all that was an effort to be accepted by others when you couldn't accept yourself. You lived a life of emptying your soul in all the wrong places instead of trying to fill the cracks in you caused by those who knew no better when they threw you against the walls of insecurity and watched you crumble on the floors of self doubt. You played small because you never could understand your magnitude, never understood your depth so you left it empty thinking that someone would eventually give you enough to feel whole. Baby girl you are a Queen, I am sorry for the 11 years a slave I made you for everyone. You are a lion, I'm sorry I dressed you in sheep's clothing and let the wolves feast on your sensitive flesh. I want you to know that even when we were on different pages, we were always in the same story, that even though I left you to give chapters to people who only deserved paragraphs, the root of the book was always you. It has taken us such a long journey to finally be on the same page and boy am I glad we move together through this life thing now. I have finally let you shine and be the magnificence that you are. We no longer play dumb so not to make others feel inferior. We no longer hold our tongue because our words hold some much conviction and there is no need for silence. We have worked so hard at this here self love thing that we are no longer scared to eat alone because we know what we bring to the table is enough. We are lighter because we have dropped all the baggage handed to us and only carried things that was ours to keep like love for us, courage to dream, strength to build our dreams and wisdom to never hand over the keys to our happiness to hands that shake with lack of commitment. Thank you for all the patience you gave me while I fumbled into us. We are enough and always have been I just took the long route to this destination and now that we are here I don't think I will ever leave you in the care of others again. long evening dresses

Yours Biggest Lover
Siphokazi Mlamla